Social & Emotional Competence of Children
In light of the mass shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, we’re updating this post about social & emotional competence of children to include resources to help parents and children grapple with the feelings of outrage, fear, and devastation that might be cropping up.
Children are often more aware than we guess and are especially sensitive to the moods and conversations of adults around them. Here are some resources geared toward helping children navigate this tragedy:
Helping School-Age Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers from The National Child Traumatic Stress Network in English and Spanish
Talking to kids in the wake of mass violence from EmbraceRace
Helping your children manage distress in the aftermath of a shooting from the American Psychological Association
Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers from the National Association of School Psychologists in English and Spanish (and many other languages here).
Difficult news takes a toll on all of us. To care for the children in our lives, it is important to care for ourselves. Here are resources for adults:
Coping in the Aftermath of a Shooting from the American Counseling Association
APA resources for coping with mass shootings, understanding gun violence from the American Psychological Association
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a great time to cover “Social & Emotional Competence of Children”, another cornerstone of the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework.
Social & emotional competence of children is all about their ability to communicate clearly, recognize and regulate their emotions, and establish and maintain relationships. Children with these skills have healthier behaviors, are better able to respond to stress, and have more positive social and family relationships. Child abuse and neglect are less likely to happen when parent-child relationships are mutually rewarding.
Parents play a key role both in modeling healthy behaviors and helping children recognize and regulate their emotions. Here are some tips from Great Kids, Inc. for how to support your child’s mental health and social emotional development, below. You will see overlap with other Strengthening Protective factors!
1. Help children build strong, caring relationships. Create a safe, positive home environment.
It’s important for kids to have strong relationships with friends and family. Do your best to nurture a supportive, stable, and predictable home. Try to make time for quality interactions with your child. Give them positive attention and physical affection!
2. Help children develop healthy self-esteem.
Reassure your child that they’re loved and accepted for who they are! Make time for one-on-one activities if you have multiple children. Acknowledge their interests and what makes them special, creative, or unique. Celebrate the uniqueness of people you know and convey respect for people who are different. Avoid negative self-talk and model self-acceptance!
3. Listen to and respect their feelings.
Create a safe place for children to express themselves. Ask them about their feelings and listen! Give them time to reflect and model healthy expression by labeling and discussing your own feelings and experiences. If your child needs help identifying their feelings, use an emoji feelings chart or mirrors to help recognize emotions. Practice mindfulness and healthy coping strategies together.
Show that you’re taking care of your own mental and physical health and seek help when needed. Look out for warning signs of distress with children and seek treatment from mental health experts when needed.
Resources:
